Saturday, May 2, 2015

May 2015 - The Struggle Continues, But... I Think There's Hope - b/c My Clothes Dont Fit

I don't have anything earth-shattering to type.  Read the other Blogs - they are pretty hilarious and true.

The most recent update:  I have gained approximately 10 lbs in a year (according to #TimeHop app).  I am officially sitting well over 200 lbs.  I also can feel the food and choices making me feel worse/bad - sluggish, lazy, craving random, eating for sport (and not b/c I am hungry) and watching the 5% of muscle tone I had disappear into fat and cellulite.

So.... My Husband and I are on a journey - together.  I guess there is a time when you are finally sick and tired of being sick and tired.  Unfortunately, it took us extreme weight gain and lack-of-overall health to get to that place.  Unfortunately, the fact that I have this conversation at the start of almost every week for the last 5 years and have not managed to be successful --> in a complete disbelief that my new commitment is even reasonable.

This evening, I am preparing for a big presentation.  And I realized - while standing in the closet - that my wardrobe ranges in size from about a 10 to a 16.  Who does that?!  I also noticed that I put on a jacket in preparation for the event. It was tight.  I as annoyed.  That made me want to go and eat something stupid - or slit my wrists.  (Figure of speech)  I opted not to do either, instead I am blogging.

I guess the silver lining is that a recent trip to the Doctor enlightened me that my weight gain has an actual medical root.  So, I am not blowing up like a puffer fish simply b/c I am eating more calories than normal.  I am extremely aware that my food choices are making it worse, so don't get me wrong.

But, for the month of May - in honor of my upcoming Birthday, I have launched #MayMakeover.  Its a multi-faceted campaign designed for me to really get control of my life - including my weight.  My focus has shifted in the last few weeks.  There are so many things that I have noticed do not taste as good as I remember them.  Maybe it is my subconscious simply saying to me:  B*tch!! You really need to get it together.  But, since you can't, let me help you :-/!!