Sunday, May 25, 2014

30 Unanswered Days... When Birthday Fun Goes Waay Overboard

I am so sick of myself... When birthday fun goes too damn far....
A month ago, I wrote a whiteboard. I wrote everything in purple and green - on April 24th: my current weight, my macro and mini weight/health goals and target dates. I also joined WW (again) that day. And....
Then I spent 30 days kickin it and eating like a famine was coming any day now.
I hopped back on the scale. And... I GAINED 3ish pounds. Who does that?! So, I had to rewrite the whiteboard: a new starting weight, a new goal and a new timeline. I am so sick!
I planned to "start for real" after the Holiday - on Tuesday (its Sunday). But, I can't wait another day. So... it starts on the morning.
I have been pretty tight-lipped about the actual numbers. But, I guess if I am going to be an inspiration AND ask for inspiration, it's time to get real - and share what it really is.
Random: Instead of watching Golden Girls, my 600lb Life is on TV. This chick is on here crying and falling out - claiming she cant understand why she's not losing weight AND talking about ice cream. While I can't/won't EVER be 600lb,  this RIDICULOUS logic and lack-of-effort sounds all too familiar.  This Lady is NUTS!  Dr. Now said it best, "I don't care what you SAY... The TRUTH is on the scale." #Boom!
Let me do better! Oh, and find the damn gym I am paying for!

Monday, May 12, 2014

Just a random Tuesday.... Is Just Being Sick and Tired Enough - or is it Anti-climactic?!

The way it works when "other people" publish their awesome weight loss story - they ahve some epic inspiration:  Someone has recently passed (I lost my Mother 7 year ago...So, I missed that boat) OR they have some awful diagnosis from the Doctor (my doc just says 'lose some weight' - like he/she has for the last 15 years - but I am otherwise healthy) OR they had a break-up (now that is one is usually a good catalyst for me, but I recently married "my person") OR its time for a high school reunion (I went to an all girls school and FB means they already know). 

Well, I don't have any of that.  I just decided I am sick of my damn self.  Let me tell you how my SickOfDamnSelf started - this time.  I went to Happy Hour on Friday.  I went to lunch on Saturday and out to dinner.  I went to lunch on Sunday.  And today (Monday), I went to a meeting and ate - Italian.  And ont he way home, I stopped at a drive thru.  What you hate is... I ordered it, brought it home and hit is sitting on the table - untouched.  I didn't even want/need it!  Who does that?!  Me - a Food Addict.

I am also SickOfDamnSelf because although I paid $58 to join WW 2 weeks ago, I have not worked hard to eat right.  Instead, I have been eating what I want and trying to make the Program work around my b*llsh*t.  Who orders potato skins when they are trying to lose weight?!  I swear!  I am a slave to my FatGirlTasteBuds.

I am a walking bumper sticker of "Live to Eat". I should be "Eat to Live"

Katie Couric has started the FedUp Challenge - in response to the documentary, Fed Up.  the documentary chronicles the way sugar (and the like) are added to everything we eat which results an addiction.  Today, I joined it.  I joined it.... and then... I drank a huge Pepsi.

What the f*ck is my problem?!  

The trends are clean eating, peleo eating, cardio, going natural - avoiding the cycle of prescriptions.  It seems that the trend is to get back to where we started:  Eating like we have some damn sense. 

NO one will ever run up to you and say that I am the most energetic, healthy, athletic nor patient person on the planet.  And I wouldn't dare lie to anyone that takes 10 minutes out of their life to read my words.  I wake up and take a few ibuprofen/aspirin (b/c I have a headache). The aforementioned headache is caused due to my high ass blood pressure.  I drink something super sugary in the morning - a McDonald's frappe is my preference, but I have done a smoothie (at home) a couple of times a month.  During the day, I snack - all day.  I drink a can of Pepsi and carry a single bottle of water.  And...If given the choice - I will always pick a restaurant.  Its not that I can't cook, I just rather not AND I enjoy the good stuff - b/c I certainly will not show up and order a grilled chicken breast.  

My point:  I realize I am TOTALLY out of order.  I don't want to be fat.  I don't want the problems and ongoing crappy feelings that come as a result of having extra weight.  I don't want to start down the path of taking a zillion scripts to function - but the weight and the cycle of my current drugs is going to send me right down that damn path.  

In the morning, I am going to wake up and start a 30 Day Challenge.  I am going to keep tracking both my food and weight via WW.  I am also going to use the system to track/note how I feel when I eat or do certain things.  Like they say "Nothing changes if nothing changes".  It is time to do something drastic.

Leaving my life to chance is no longer an option.  I have too much to live for, so - assuming God gives me another day, tomorrow starts a journey.  Let me be a real world example of how what I eat or due impacts my OVERALL health - to include my weight.

I will share it all.... the weight is a WW thing - b/c the truly endorse clean eating (although they don't say it, but if you follow the program, it becomes obvious).  But, it is my goal to experience and journal how these changes change me.  Maybe I will prove to be helpful to someone else.