Thursday, November 27, 2014

I did some real Fat Girl Sh*t Today... For the love of God - Enough is Enough

Is it time - yet?!  Damn!  I have heard and read my own comments and FB posts about losing weight for so long, I am sick of my damn self.  The other day, I posted a meme that said "Here we go...Time to get ready for those 'New Year, New Me' " posts.  I hate those!  The irony - and sad truth - I am still claiming "new week" and "new me" EVERY week.  I guess what is different this time:  I - literally - feel crappy. Well, not overall, but I do feel craptastic from an overall health standpoint.

I have read all of the articles and blogs.  I have watched all of the Netflix movies and the YouTube personal vlogs.  I have done all the research.  One thing that most great Weight Loss Success Stories have in common: some epic catalyst that changes people overnight (or so it seems).  What is prevalent in most made-for-TV weight loss / makeover stories is that the person (usually a woman - of course) is all frumpy and miserable when she is fat.  Then, she suddenly starts working out, getting cute and their entire life turns around.

Well, none of the above will be my story.  Not only am I a relatively happy person - already; that overnight "spark" has failed for me all 500 times that I have tried it. I am not walking around all frumpy and miserable - barely showering or ironing my clothes (like all of the "before" pics).  I simply want to feel - and look - better!

There are some realities that come with being either overweight and/or unhappy with one's appearance.  That is what I am going to focus on when writing.  There are moments I have in my life every day that I realize I want/need to drop some weight.  It's not going to be pretty nor fun.  I am not a relatively fit person that needs to tone up a few areas.  Nope, I am an overall health and wellness TRAIN WRECK - complete with a laundry list of bad habits that I need to work on.  (Did I just end a sentence with a preposition?!  Don't tell my Mother)

There were a few moments today that I felt fat:
1.  I did the fat girl rock to get out of a seated position from a deep/cushy couch
2.  My Father asked if my butt was getting bigger ( wasn't "creepy", it was a a wake up call)
3.  I walked up 2 sets of stairs; I was winded when I got to the top of the 30 steps.
That is 3 moments today - 3 moments that happened between 10a and 7pm.  What?!

What I usually do it jump-and-down and promise that "tomorrow", I am going cold turkey.  I last about 20 minutes and then I am right back to normal.  So... none of that - this time.  I have made a decision, so I need to put things in my path that will ensure my success.